打造一份优秀的文书、你要get这些点（一）
- 2015年10月23日13:51 来源：小站整理
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一份好的申请文书会给我们的大学申请添分，如何打造一份优秀的文书呢？以下这些要点你必须要知道。
1.慎用美式英语中一些含有否定意义的词汇
Be careful of using words that have a negative meaning in American English. The word “propaganda,” for example, means something like “government-controlled brainwashing” in the US. (Your best choice is to use the words “marketing” or“publicity” if you want to indicate that you organized a campaign to raise awareness of a certain problem.)
Likewise, in the US we do not use the words“cripple” and “retarded”; we use “handicapped” (or even better, “disabled”) and“developmentally disabled” or “mentally challenged.” We don’t call old people“old people”—we call them “elders” or “the elderly.” And we prefer “businessperson” or “business professional” to “businessman.”
慎用美式英语中一些含有否定意义的词汇。例如，“propaganda”这个词在美国就有点“政府洗脑式”的宣传的意思了。(如果你想要表达你发起一项运动来提高人们对于某一问题的认识的话，最好选用“marketing”或是“publicity”。)同样的，在美国，我们也不会用“cripple”或者是“retarded”之类的词，取而代之的是“handicapped”(disabled更好)以及“developmentally disabled”或“mentally disabled”。我们在称呼老人时也不直接用“old people”，而是用“elders”或是“the elderly”。我们也不经常用“businessman”，而是用“businessperson”或“business professional ”。
2.变换句子的长短
Vary the length of the sentences in your essay. If you have written several long sentences in a row, insert a short sentence to give the reader a break. Variety in your sentences will make your essay easier to read (and thus more memorable).
It also demonstrates that you have a superior command of the English language. And don’t be afraid of including a one-sentence paragraph. Aone-sentence paragraph (especially at the beginning or end of your essay) will be very dramatic and grab the reader’s attention.
变换句子的长短。如果你已经连续用了几个长句，那么插入一个短句能给读者一个停顿的时间。句式多样化能够使你的短文更容易懂，因而也更容易让人记住。这样的句式变换也证明你的英语语言掌握的比较好。同时不要害怕运用一句式段落。一句式段落，(尤其是在短文的开头结尾)会很出彩，也会吸引读者的注意力。
3.不要试图费力地运用一些特别长的句子或者特别大的词汇
If English is your second language,don’t try to make it hard on yourself by writing really long sentences and using large vocabulary words. (Don’t say “internationalization”; just say“international.”
Why use “metropolis” when you can just use “city”?) Remember that the readers are not hoping to be impressed by your vocabulary—they want tobe impressed by your story.
如果英语是你的第二语言，那么不要试图费力地运用一些特别长的句子或者特别大的词汇。(不要用“internationalization”，用“international”就好了。另外，如果你可以用“city”，为什么要用“metropolis”呢?)记住，读者并不希望被你的词汇打动，而是被你的故事所打动。
4.对自己研究过的项目进行详细说明
If you are applying to graduate school, your personal statement will need to include detailed evidence of your research. For example, if you are applying toa graduate program in biology, your PS should include specific deions of experiences you have had, such as research projects, internships, work in biological laboratories, and such.
The other key elements for graduate study applications are what you want to study, the field you are interested in, the background you have, why you have chosen this particular program, and your plans after graduation.
如果你正在申请研究生院校，那么你的个人简历就需要包括你研究项目的一些详细的说明。例如，如果你正在申请生物专业的研究生项目，那么你的个人简历就需要对你的研究经历进行详细的描述，比如你的研究项目，实习经历，以及在生物实验这方面的工作等等。研究生学习申请的其他的一些关键因素还包括：你想要研究什么，你对哪一个领域感兴趣，你的个人背景，选择这一研究项目的原因以及毕业后的打算。
5.避免运用一些不恰当的理由
Avoid using inappropriate reasons for why a particular college is attractive to you. (I have actually seen essays where the applicant described how much he “loved” the University of Chicago and wanted to date her, and another where the applicant wrote that NYU was attractive because she just loved the color purple on theNYU website.) You must read the website carefully to discover specific programs, activities, curricula, distinguished professors (and the like) that you can point to and say, “THIS is why I want to go to University X.”
在说明某所大学为何对你有吸引力时，避免运用一些不恰当的理由。(曾经看过申请者在短文中描述自己是如何如何热爱芝加哥大学，并想要和它约会的，而另一个人则在短文中说纽约大学吸引她仅仅是因为她喜欢纽约大学网站上的紫色)。你必须仔细浏览学校官方网站，以便发现一些具体的项目、活动、课程，以及著名的教授，诸如此类的，然后你就可以在短文中指出这就是你想要去XX大学的原因。
6.不要只在短文中陈述学校多么好
Do not tell the school how good it is. “I want to attend the prestigiousUniversity X because it is a top US college with an international reputation,”just sounds insincere.
不要只在短文中陈述学校多么好。“我想要申请著名的XX大学，因为它是美国一所顶尖的大学，在国际上都享有盛誉。”这样说的话会显得不真诚。
7.吸引读者的眼球
Catch the reader’s attention in the first sentence of your essay by writing something dramatic or humorous. In one excellent essay I read, the applicant (hoping to major in entomology), wrote this: “Ahhhh! There are bugs in the shampoo!"Doesn't that make you want to read more? (He then went on to describe how his mother had found one of his “science experiments” involving insects, and how experiences like this made him want to study entomology.)
在短文的开头写一些富有戏剧性的或者是幽默的东西，以吸引读者的眼球。曾有一篇优秀的短文，申请人想要修昆虫学专业，开头他是这样写的：“啊，洗发露里竟然有虫子!读完，难道你不会想要继续读下去吗?(接下来他又描述了他的母亲如何发现了他的一次昆虫“科学实验”，以及这些经历是怎样使他最终想要研究昆虫学的。)
8.首尾呼应
If you start with a story, you can end with some reference to the same story. (Our entomology student, for example, could then mention his mother’s shock again in his last paragraph.)
如果你是以一个故事开头的，那么你可以在结尾的时候再提一下这个故事，所谓“点题”(例如，这位昆虫学的学生在最后一段再次提到他的母亲对他这些行为有多震惊。)
