【SAT写作】6分范文展示与点评

2015年02月22日11:44 来源：小站整理

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Essay题目选自The Official SATStudy Guide Avail Practice Test 2

Prompt

Think carefullyabout the issue presented in the following excerpt and assignment below.

Technologypromises to make our lives easier, freeing up time for leisure pursuits. Butthe rapid pace of technological innovation and the split second processingcapabilities of computers that can work virtually nonstop have made all of usfeel rushed. We have adopted the relentless pace of the very machines that weresupposed to simplify our lives, with the result that , whether at work or play,people do not feel like their lives have changed for the better.

Adapted fromKaren Finucan,"Life in the Fast Lane"

Assignment

Do changes thatmake our lives easier not necessarily make them better? Plan and write an essayin which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your positionwith reasoning and examples taken from your readings, studies, experience, andobservations.

Sample Essay -Score of 6 SAT写作6分范文

Throughout time mankind has strived to make his life easier. Whether it bethrough technology, science, or theories of social interaction every generationhas made one contribution. From the idea of crop rotation to the cellulartelephone mankind has advanced. It can be argued however, that not all of theseadvancements were beneficial. Many times people are accused of “taking the easyway out”, something that is looked down upon in today’s society.

Consider, if youwill, ancient Greecian Society. With hardly any of the technological orscientific advancements we have today, they were able to produce some of thegreatest thinkers of all time. Socrates and Plato still influence modernphilosophical thought. In addition, these men were well versed in alldisciplines. They were thinkers, mathamaticians, writers, scientists, artistsand much more. Examine some other great men in history. Leonardo Davinci wasone of the greatest scientists and also one of the greatest artists of alltime, he even invented and drew up early plans for the helicopter. Theseancient men, without the technology and ease of life we have today, were ableto produce some of the most prolific additions to human knowledge ever.

Now let usexamine some men from our time. Bill Gates, while adding immensely to thepleasures and ease of man’s life, did so only by forcefully destroying manyfledgling companies and completely undermining our capitalistic market place.Very very few men in our time are leaders in more than one discipline. Thereare no scientists/artists or writer/mathamaticians. Men, while being able tomore deeply delve into a discipline, are now restricted to it. I attribute thisto technology. We now have a life outside of our work. A life with computers,cars, movies, and dinner with the family from across the country. Mankind canno longer devote himself to his work. He has his work life, and his home life.While a cell phone allows me to talk to anyone from anywhere, it prevents mefrom being alone and fully concentrating. While the internet allows me to lookat websites from around the world, it prevents me from doing the work I set outto do.

While technologyand science have made man’s life easier, they have not made it better. Man hasbecome less productive and less devoted, partly, as a result of this newfoundease of life. Therefore, What makes our lives easier does not necessarily makethem better.

ScoreExplanation SAT写作6分范文点评

This outstandingessay insightfully and effectively develops the point of view that “What makesour lives easier does not necessarily make them better.” The writerdemonstrates outstanding critical thinking by focusing on clearly appropriateexamples throughout history to support the idea that not all of mankind’s“advancements” to make life easier have been “beneficial.” The essay begins bydescribing the ancient scholars who, “without the technology and ease of lifewe have today, were able to produce some of the most prolific additions tohuman knowledge ever.” The writer continues by offering the idea that today,due to the incredible advancements in technology, “Very very few men . . . areleaders in more than one discipline.” The essay concludes with the idea that,due to the distractions and ease of a technologically advanced society, “Manhas become less productive and less devoted.” This well organized and clearlyfocused essay demonstrates coherence and progression of ideas. The essayconsistently exhibits skillful use of language and demonstrates meaningfulvariety in sentence structure (“Bill Gates, while adding immensely to thepleasures and ease of man’s life, did so only by forcefully destroying manyfledgling companies and completely undermining our capitalistic marketplace.Very very few men in our time are leaders in more than one discipline”). Thisessay demonstrates clear and consistent mastery and is scored 6.