避免6种文书开头以防被秒拒
- 2014年11月14日14:34 来源：小站整理
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在本科留学考试中，SAT和托福是必须要经历的考试，但是就算我们取得了不错的成绩，那么我们的申请文书PS没有写好，或者没有凸显出自己的优势，那么我们很有可能得不到优秀学校的赏识。众所周知，留学文书中的个人陈述的开头方式一定要尽力避免下文中的6种开头，申请美国大学的申请人越来越多，申请竞争越来越激烈，大家精心准备的个人陈述希望成为大家被录取的亮点，而不是成为大家申请成功的绊脚石。
一、重复简历型
I earned my Bachelor of Science degree in … Sciences with a specialization in … in 2002 at … university.
点评：美国留学个人陈述不要去重复简历中的东西，这在很多学校的PS要求中明确提到，个人陈述的写作要具体到事件上，事件解决上，而不要单纯重复已有的内容。
二、学校介绍型
I am an undergraduate in…University , the largest university and a cradle of scientific and technological talents in China.
点评：该同学的个人陈述开头等于是一个申请学校的简介，这好像是在帮助学校做宣传，或表达你有多了解该学校，而不是写个人陈述了。这是没有意义的开头，白白浪费了字数，最容易被秒据掉。
三、抄袭句式型
As a student majoring in Computer Science, I began my odyssey since I entered undergraduate program. Indeed, having entered this splendid computer world, I am more than greedy for something new.
点评：Odyssey 和more than greedy for something new 这种句式不知道是从哪里学到的，很多同学在用。但你要知道，老外最恨抄袭，最喜原创，所以利害关系大家想想吧。
四、救世主型
I am a problem solver. I have an impulse as a kind of instincts to solve various problems before me and enjoy doing that. Since I was a little boy, a voice from President Franklin Roosevelt has constantly hovered around my mind, "The world can be changed by man's endeavor …
点评：一副救世主的形象，小时候就受富兰克林的影响，立志改变世界。个人陈述的写作一定要个人化具体化，别吹大牛，甚至带着一种霸权主义思维。
五、犹抱琵琶型
Making a right decision at the right time is very important for a young people .At present, I have come to a critical point in my life when I have to make a decision concerning my future course of action. Only a perceptive understanding of oneself will enable one to chart his proper action. After carefully thinking, reviewing my life and analyzing my personality, I make the determination and choose to apply for graduate study in XXX. And I choose to specialize in communications which I will pursue a lifelong career.
点评：重点放在自己要做重大决定上了，人生的转折点，然后来上句所谓名言警句。浪费字数，有限的字数里，同学们应该学会直接，并且抓住重点，突出自己最有优势的方面，最有特色的方面。
六、语言幼稚型
'Why the gecko can climb on the wall while we can't-' 'Why the leaves turn red in autumn' 'How many stars are there in the sky-' When I was in childhood, I always kept asking my mom all kinds of questions。I am especially interested in how things work, I can even take apart things for several hours in order to find out its principle.
点评：上来就回忆童年少年自己如何有着远大抱负，个人陈述字数有限，却用这么多话描述童年，没有任何意义。学校想知道你如何看待未来，而不是如何度过过去。
